Lily Goode wasn't aware she had an inheritance waiting for her in the form of a huge Victorian house in Lucky Valley, Colorado. Life might finally be coming together for her. That is if you don't count the endless home repairs, dealing with eccentric Aunt Polly who claims they're both witches, and Nolan Dawson the handsome home inspector who seems to have it out for her, then, sure, life is grand. Oh and not to mention the strange hallucinations and garden gnomes who are far more than lawn ornaments.
If mysterious accidents don't do her in, then the rebellious gnomes just might. With the help of Aunt Polly, it's up to Lily to discover who's sabotaging her new home and trying to drive the Goodes out of Lucky Valley once and for all.
From NY Times & USA TODAY Bestselling Author, Michelle M. Pillow, a Cozy Mystery Paranormal Romantic Comedy.
“Cackles the Cowboy Ghost”
Excerpt from
(Un)Lucky Valley: Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes
A Cozy Mystery Paranormal Romantic Comedy
By NYT & USAT Bestselling Author Michelle M. Pillow
In the town of Lucky Valley, Colorado, nothing is quite what it seems. As Lily Goode is quickly finding out…
Thump.
Her hands trembled as she gripped the railing. Nolan briefly placed his hand over hers, as if to steady her. They crept toward the bedroom.
Thump. Thump. Rattle. Thump.
Lily and Nolan reached for the door at the same time and pushed it with the tips of their fingers. The wood creaked as it opened.
Crreeaak. Thump. Bang.
They tilted their heads to look in.
“Dam, blasted. I…”
The sound was faint, but Lily heard the muffled words as if they came from underwater.
“Where’d ya go ya wee varmit…”
“Who’s there?” Lily demanded.
Lily leaned closer to Nolan and tried not to make a sound as she stared at the room. A bed was in the middle next to a small dresser with a white porcelain bowl. The dresser slid an inch to the right and the foot of the bed lifted off the floor before thumping down.
Nolan again tried to push her behind him but she resisted and moved to see who was causing all the noise. The bed bounced in a steady rhythm. She slowly leaned to the side to peek along the hidden edge of the bed. The sound stopped. A gnome stood facing the corner like a punished child. Another gnome lay on the floor.
“I think Dante is right. It’s the creepy gnomes.” Lily stared at the little statues, watching for movement. A chill worked its way up her spine.
Nolan placed a hand on her arm. She jumped a little in surprise at the contact. He inhaled through his nose, and whispered, “Ghost.” The word came out on a white puff of breath.
The bed lifted higher than before and crashed down. When Lily turned her attention back to the gnomes, they had not moved, but there was a pair of transparent legs sticking out from under the bed. The ghost’s stained pants were frayed at the bottom hem and his boots were caked in dirt—if that was even possible.
“Uh, this house is not yours,” Lily said. “Go to the light. Begone spirit.”
“What are you doing?” Nolan whispered.
“Banishing him?” Lily shrugged. How the heck was she supposed to know what to do?
“How do you know it’s a him?”
She pointed at the floor. “I assumed from the pants and boots, but I guess it could be a girl.”
“All I see is a couple of gnomes.”
The ghost’s feet kicked, and the bed lifted up only to fall with a bang.
“Stop that!” she ordered.
The ghost cackled and wheezed and did it again. This time, he shimmied until his feet disappeared under the bed. All noises stopped.
“Is he gone?”
“Maybe?” She shrugged helplessly.
“Do you see him?”
Lily turned to Nolan and grabbed his upper arm. “Nolan, if I was really in a hospital with something in my brain making me hallucinate, you’d tell me, right? I mean, you’d tell me if I was insane or none of this was real, right?”
“Uh, Lily—”
“I’d be all right with that. Because, if you expect me to bend over to look under the bed to see if there are any big-bad scaries lurking beneath there, I’m telling you now that I don’t think I’m brave enough. I’ve seen how this horror movie ends. I’m not about to get sucked into a dark vortex by Cackles the Cowboy Clown.”
“Dark vortex?” He arched a brow.
“Every little kid knows about the dark vortex. It’s why we know not to go into closets or look under the bed.”
“I don’t think that’s a real—”
“It’s real.”
“Lily, do you want me to look under the bed for you?” Nolan asked, his tone aggravatingly calm and reasonable.
She nodded. “Yes.”
Nolan suppressed a grin. He lowered onto his hands and knees, threw the draped covers out of his way, and leaned close to the floor to look under the bed.
Lily felt a chill along her arm. She held her breath. Her eyes moved before her head turned. She came face to forehead with a ghost. He stood a couple inches from her face. When she glanced down, she saw his whiskers shift with a smile. “Boo!”
She gasped, jumping away from him.
The ghost crowed a high-pitched sound, holding his stomach and slapping his thigh as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “Oo-ee-ee-ee.”
“I don’t see anything,” Nolan said, still looking under the bed.
End Excerpt
Learn more about Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes at MichellePillow.com
Excerpt from
(Un)Lucky Valley: Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes
A Cozy Mystery Paranormal Romantic Comedy
By NYT & USAT Bestselling Author Michelle M. Pillow
In the town of Lucky Valley, Colorado, nothing is quite what it seems. As Lily Goode is quickly finding out…
Thump.
Her hands trembled as she gripped the railing. Nolan briefly placed his hand over hers, as if to steady her. They crept toward the bedroom.
Thump. Thump. Rattle. Thump.
Lily and Nolan reached for the door at the same time and pushed it with the tips of their fingers. The wood creaked as it opened.
Crreeaak. Thump. Bang.
They tilted their heads to look in.
“Dam, blasted. I…”
The sound was faint, but Lily heard the muffled words as if they came from underwater.
“Where’d ya go ya wee varmit…”
“Who’s there?” Lily demanded.
Lily leaned closer to Nolan and tried not to make a sound as she stared at the room. A bed was in the middle next to a small dresser with a white porcelain bowl. The dresser slid an inch to the right and the foot of the bed lifted off the floor before thumping down.
Nolan again tried to push her behind him but she resisted and moved to see who was causing all the noise. The bed bounced in a steady rhythm. She slowly leaned to the side to peek along the hidden edge of the bed. The sound stopped. A gnome stood facing the corner like a punished child. Another gnome lay on the floor.
“I think Dante is right. It’s the creepy gnomes.” Lily stared at the little statues, watching for movement. A chill worked its way up her spine.
Nolan placed a hand on her arm. She jumped a little in surprise at the contact. He inhaled through his nose, and whispered, “Ghost.” The word came out on a white puff of breath.
The bed lifted higher than before and crashed down. When Lily turned her attention back to the gnomes, they had not moved, but there was a pair of transparent legs sticking out from under the bed. The ghost’s stained pants were frayed at the bottom hem and his boots were caked in dirt—if that was even possible.
“Uh, this house is not yours,” Lily said. “Go to the light. Begone spirit.”
“What are you doing?” Nolan whispered.
“Banishing him?” Lily shrugged. How the heck was she supposed to know what to do?
“How do you know it’s a him?”
She pointed at the floor. “I assumed from the pants and boots, but I guess it could be a girl.”
“All I see is a couple of gnomes.”
The ghost’s feet kicked, and the bed lifted up only to fall with a bang.
“Stop that!” she ordered.
The ghost cackled and wheezed and did it again. This time, he shimmied until his feet disappeared under the bed. All noises stopped.
“Is he gone?”
“Maybe?” She shrugged helplessly.
“Do you see him?”
Lily turned to Nolan and grabbed his upper arm. “Nolan, if I was really in a hospital with something in my brain making me hallucinate, you’d tell me, right? I mean, you’d tell me if I was insane or none of this was real, right?”
“Uh, Lily—”
“I’d be all right with that. Because, if you expect me to bend over to look under the bed to see if there are any big-bad scaries lurking beneath there, I’m telling you now that I don’t think I’m brave enough. I’ve seen how this horror movie ends. I’m not about to get sucked into a dark vortex by Cackles the Cowboy Clown.”
“Dark vortex?” He arched a brow.
“Every little kid knows about the dark vortex. It’s why we know not to go into closets or look under the bed.”
“I don’t think that’s a real—”
“It’s real.”
“Lily, do you want me to look under the bed for you?” Nolan asked, his tone aggravatingly calm and reasonable.
She nodded. “Yes.”
Nolan suppressed a grin. He lowered onto his hands and knees, threw the draped covers out of his way, and leaned close to the floor to look under the bed.
Lily felt a chill along her arm. She held her breath. Her eyes moved before her head turned. She came face to forehead with a ghost. He stood a couple inches from her face. When she glanced down, she saw his whiskers shift with a smile. “Boo!”
She gasped, jumping away from him.
The ghost crowed a high-pitched sound, holding his stomach and slapping his thigh as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “Oo-ee-ee-ee.”
“I don’t see anything,” Nolan said, still looking under the bed.
End Excerpt
Learn more about Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes at MichellePillow.com
As long as she can remember, Michelle has had a strange fascination with anything supernatural and sci-fi. After discovering historical romance novels, it was only natural that the supernatural and love/romance elements should someday meet in her wonderland of a brain. She's glad they did for their children have been pouring onto the computer screen ever since.
Michelle loves to travel and try new things, whether it's a paranormal investigation of an old Vaudeville Theatre or climbing Mayan temples in Belize. She's addicted to movies and used to drive her mother crazy while quoting random scenes with her brother. Though it has yet to happen, her dream is to be a zombie in a horror movie. (She came close as a refugee extra on SyFy's Z Nation, Fall 2016!)
For the most part she can be found wearing pajama pants while writing in her office, and enjoying a cup of coffee.
Come say hello! She loves talking with readers on social media!
Win a signed copy of 1. Fooled Around and Spelled in Love or Curses and Cupcakes
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International winner will receive an eCopy)
A Cozy Mystery Paranormal Romantic Comedy
Welcome to Everlasting, Maine, where there's no such thing as normal.
Anna Crawford is well aware her town is filled with supernaturals, but she isn't exactly willing to embrace her paranormal gifts. Her aunt says she's a witch-in-denial. All Anna wants is to live a quiet "normal" life and run her business, Witch's Brew Coffee Shop and Bakery. But everything is about to be turned upside down the moment Jackson Argent walks into her life.
Jackson isn't sure why he agreed to come back to his boyhood home of Everlasting. It's like a spell was cast and he couldn't say no. Covering the Cranberry Festival isn't exactly the hard-hitting news this reporter is used to. But when a local death is ruled an accident, and the police aren't interested in investigating, he takes it upon himself to get to the bottom of the mystery. To do that, he'll need to enlist the help of the beautiful coffee shop owner.
It soon becomes apparent things are not what they seem and more than coffee is brewing in Everlasting.
*Books in The Happily Everlasting Series can be read in ANY order!
Welcome to Everlasting, Maine, where there's no such thing as normal.
Marcy Lewis is cursed (honestly and truly) which makes dating very interesting. With a string of loser boyfriends behind her, she’s done looking for love in all the wrong places. That is until the new firefighter arrives in the sleepy seaside town of Everlasting. Nicholas Logan is unlike any other man she’s ever had in her life. When someone starts sending her photographs that raise a red flag it soon becomes apparent that she’s not just cursed, she’s in serious danger.
Nicholas doesn’t know what to make of the charismatic young woman managing the local coffee shop. As a string of mysterious fires begin popping up around town, the two unite in search of clues as to who or what is responsible, discovering along the way that things are very rarely what they seem to be.
*Books in The Happily Everlasting Series can be read in ANY order!
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