I was a sensitive, at least that’s what I was told by the boy who saved me from the overwhelming emotions that consumed my soul, the boy who saved me from myself when my gift became stronger. Through the years, he was my redemption, my reason to take my next breath…then, he was gone.
Jensen always told me I was strong, but I didn’t believe him until I was forced to be strong on my own, and I kept breathing without him. I’ve taken 42 million breaths since the moment he sent me away. Now, four years later, he’s standing in front of me, and I can barely breathe.
This isn’t just a story about the abilities I possess; it’s a story about something much stronger…the love of the man who possesses every part of me.
***Disclaimer – Feel is intended for readers 18+ due to strong language, mature scenes, and some violence.
“You know why I did that! I sent you away to protect you, Saige,” I yell, raking my hands roughly through my hair, trying to expel the guilt and pain. “I’ve never stopped protecting you…never.”
The hurt in her eyes kills me, and I step closer to her, slowly running a strand of her hair through my fingers. “And, what do you think of me now, Saige?” I ask, needing her to understand, to know that I never stopped loving her, and desperately needing her absolution.
Her eyes fill with tears as she takes a step away from me. The sadness in her voice rips through my soul, “Fuck Superman.”
The ache in my chest intensifies. Her breathing is labored as she glares at me, her fists coiled tightly at her side. She brings her soft, full bottom lip punishingly between her teeth again. Her eyes are screaming at me, but she says nothing. A full minute passes as I search for the right words to say. My time runs out as she blinks back tears before turning to leave.
“What are you going to do?” I yell after her pathetically.
“Find him,” Saige states simply, not taking the time to slow down.
“By yourself? What the hell do you plan to do with him after you find him, Saige?”
“Stop him,” she replies, quickening her pace.
“Will you stop walking already and answer me with more detail than two fucking words?”
Andy catches up and pushes me to the side, “Don’t get her talking more! I like her a helluva lot better when she uses less words.”
“Shut-up, Andy,” I warn before damning my pride and running after her. When I grab Saige’s arm, she flinches and tries to pull away.
I immediately release her, shocked by her reaction. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I barely manage to force the words out through the pain crushing my chest as I witness the brief shot of fear in her eyes.
Her lips part like she’s going to give another smartass remark, but she closes them, pressing those full lips together so tightly they start to pale.
“You don’t have to do this. You can walk away and start over somewhere else. I’ll help you, Saige. I taught you how to control the emotions. No one has to know what you can do, and you can have a life without all of this.”
“You might be able to just walk away from people, but I can’t do something like that so easily,” she seethes, the pain burning so brightly it sets my heart on fire. Her eyes close, darkening when she opens them again, “If I walk away, people die. I won’t let that happen just so I can have some pathetic semblance of a normal life.”
Her bottom lip starts to tremble before it’s quickly sent back to its persecutor and bit so hard I flinch for her and quickly rub my thumb against the punished flesh, freeing the tender skin before it begins to bleed.
“Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” I growl, wanting to suck her lip into my mouth and taste its sweetness like I’ve done a thousand times in the past. Damn, I want her so badly, my body aches. “I just wanted you to have a real chance to put all the shit behind you.”
Taking a step closer to me, her eyes sear my entire being. The intoxicating scent of her kills me, but it’s her agony that is torturing as she whispers, “You expect me to just walk away from them to save myself?” The bitter laugh that leaves her lips is so unlike the Saige I remember. Her eyes close again. When they open, they hold me prisoner as she asks, “Could you?”
I run my hand down her neck and gently fist her hair as I lean so close, I can feel the warmth of her breath against my lips. “You have no idea what I would do, just how far I would go, when it comes to you, Saige.”
She swallows hard and her voice breaks, “Yes, I do.”
For a few seconds, I see the old Saige, a spark of the innocence that beckoned me like saving grace thirteen years ago. Then, her fist connects hard against my jaw before I have the chance to see it coming. Biting back a pained grunt, I roughly swipe my hand against my lip, wiping away the blood. My anger vanishes as soon as I see her body trembling. The wild look in her eyes rips my fucking heart out.
“Stay away from me, Jensen,” Saige whispers so quietly, I can barely hear her.
“Let me help you.”
She spins, never breaking her pace as she walks backwards and holds up her wrists, “No thanks; you’ve already shown me your version of help, twice, and I’d prefer to save my own ass.”
The hurt in her eyes kills me, and I step closer to her, slowly running a strand of her hair through my fingers. “And, what do you think of me now, Saige?” I ask, needing her to understand, to know that I never stopped loving her, and desperately needing her absolution.
Her eyes fill with tears as she takes a step away from me. The sadness in her voice rips through my soul, “Fuck Superman.”
The ache in my chest intensifies. Her breathing is labored as she glares at me, her fists coiled tightly at her side. She brings her soft, full bottom lip punishingly between her teeth again. Her eyes are screaming at me, but she says nothing. A full minute passes as I search for the right words to say. My time runs out as she blinks back tears before turning to leave.
“What are you going to do?” I yell after her pathetically.
“Find him,” Saige states simply, not taking the time to slow down.
“By yourself? What the hell do you plan to do with him after you find him, Saige?”
“Stop him,” she replies, quickening her pace.
“Will you stop walking already and answer me with more detail than two fucking words?”
Andy catches up and pushes me to the side, “Don’t get her talking more! I like her a helluva lot better when she uses less words.”
“Shut-up, Andy,” I warn before damning my pride and running after her. When I grab Saige’s arm, she flinches and tries to pull away.
I immediately release her, shocked by her reaction. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I barely manage to force the words out through the pain crushing my chest as I witness the brief shot of fear in her eyes.
Her lips part like she’s going to give another smartass remark, but she closes them, pressing those full lips together so tightly they start to pale.
“You don’t have to do this. You can walk away and start over somewhere else. I’ll help you, Saige. I taught you how to control the emotions. No one has to know what you can do, and you can have a life without all of this.”
“You might be able to just walk away from people, but I can’t do something like that so easily,” she seethes, the pain burning so brightly it sets my heart on fire. Her eyes close, darkening when she opens them again, “If I walk away, people die. I won’t let that happen just so I can have some pathetic semblance of a normal life.”
Her bottom lip starts to tremble before it’s quickly sent back to its persecutor and bit so hard I flinch for her and quickly rub my thumb against the punished flesh, freeing the tender skin before it begins to bleed.
“Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” I growl, wanting to suck her lip into my mouth and taste its sweetness like I’ve done a thousand times in the past. Damn, I want her so badly, my body aches. “I just wanted you to have a real chance to put all the shit behind you.”
Taking a step closer to me, her eyes sear my entire being. The intoxicating scent of her kills me, but it’s her agony that is torturing as she whispers, “You expect me to just walk away from them to save myself?” The bitter laugh that leaves her lips is so unlike the Saige I remember. Her eyes close again. When they open, they hold me prisoner as she asks, “Could you?”
I run my hand down her neck and gently fist her hair as I lean so close, I can feel the warmth of her breath against my lips. “You have no idea what I would do, just how far I would go, when it comes to you, Saige.”
She swallows hard and her voice breaks, “Yes, I do.”
For a few seconds, I see the old Saige, a spark of the innocence that beckoned me like saving grace thirteen years ago. Then, her fist connects hard against my jaw before I have the chance to see it coming. Biting back a pained grunt, I roughly swipe my hand against my lip, wiping away the blood. My anger vanishes as soon as I see her body trembling. The wild look in her eyes rips my fucking heart out.
“Stay away from me, Jensen,” Saige whispers so quietly, I can barely hear her.
“Let me help you.”
She spins, never breaking her pace as she walks backwards and holds up her wrists, “No thanks; you’ve already shown me your version of help, twice, and I’d prefer to save my own ass.”
When Karen-Anne isn’t writing, she enjoys spending time with her family and friends, hiking, and visiting new places. She fuels her addiction of creating new stories by her only other addiction, caffeine, and listening to a myriad of musical genres. Tucked away near the Blue Ridge Mountains, Karen-Anne lives with her husband, daughter, two dogs, and their cat. She plans on writing new adult romance as long as her fingers maintain dexterity.
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Hi Lauren,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing in the release day for Feel! I hope you have an amazing week :)
My pleasure!!! (I had a REALLY hard time deciding which excerpt to choose for this post...they are ALL SO GOOD!!!)
DeleteHappy Holidays!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Lauren! Happy Holidays to you and your family as well :)
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